Here's to the '66' Reunion

Reunions, have you ever gone?  Are there people that you are trying to forget, who you hope have forgotten you?  Do you dread them when they come around?  People talk about reunions like they are something to be afraid of..... Not the ones for the class of "'66'.  I'm here to tell you.

The night starts out like any other.  People mingling and talking, getting drinks, finding a place to sit for dinner close to people they know or think they remember.  We are lucky in that, we still see a lot of the people from those days gone by.  Larry and Sheryl, Jay and Rhonda, Pat, Pat, and many more.  They all live in close proximity to us, in the small town of Moberly.  So if your lost for words or can't remember someone, you just find one of them, and they will help you out, unless they have forgotten too.

Everyone mills around until the time comes to have dinner.  You find your seat and off to get food.  For some reason, I always pick the table that is the last to eat or get served.  Food was great, as usual.  One of the alumni, own the restaurant we all go to for the reunion.  Big room, lots of seating and good bar service.

As soon as dinner is finished, out come the crazies.  There are a few of the girls in this group that astound me, by what and who they remember.  Now for people who are in their mid 70's, I have come to be very impressed by the memories these people have( not that they are old you see).  You can point out a person from 55 years ago, and they can tell you who it is.  Now they made up a game... what were they doing or saying back then.  Each person is given a card and when the picture matching your number comes up, you stand up and read the card.  There is a couple of ladies that get up and talk and make us laugh so hard, many run to the bathroom hahahaha.  Kathy is one of the biggest jokers with Pat following not far behind.  We all love when they get up and start their fun
After all the laughing and giggling subsides, one of the ladies showed us a montage of pictures she had put to music, of the people who have been taken from this world.  It was done so beautifully, it made many of the attendees cry.... Memories long since forgotten were brought back to life.  The night is and has been so much fun in the past. 

Now the group has decided to meet on a regular basis for lunch once each month.  Michael really enjoys going to these.  They all get together and visit.  Pictures are passed around with the grandkids being fawned over.  Talk is getting to be where there is a lot of back and forth about the medical issues that have arisen.    

We have tried to make each and everyone of the reunions.  They try and put them together every 5 years, to keep everyone close, and to keep ties new.  I think all that these people do to keep the group close is wonderful.. Not sure what others do, but what is done for us, is awesome.  We laugh and talk and remaniss about days long forgotten.  The days when life was so much easier, and all you had to do was be a kid.  Days that all of us like to remember.  Here is to the '66' Reunion, may they continue forever.

So Life goes on

How many of you have ever thought about what you would go back and change in your life?  Have you ever thought "If I could just change.........my life would be so different?  Is there something you regret doing or saying at sometime throughout your life so far?  What would you change if you could?


Mine is very simple, but has so many avenues that have been put in front of me.  My story started a long time ago and has continued to unravel in its own time frame.  So here we go....


Hello everyone, I am 17 and pregnant.  We are going to get married. 

OMG you would have thought I had killed someone by the comments that came from some people.  Here is some of the verbal commentary that followed this announcement.  It's all her fault..... are you crazy..... your both so young.... and my favorite, I always was hoping to be a grandpa.
Little did I know that my parents had held it together while in front of me since I was doing such a great job of falling apart.  After my parents went to bed, the crying and sadness started, but never in front of me.
 
The wedding plans were on the table as of the next morning.  We had just about two months to get this show on the road.  My mother got to sewing all the dresses.  Royal purple velvet gowns for the girls and my dress was white velvet.  I felt so special.  All things came together faster than I thought. 

We had a beautiful wedding with my new husband's former bagpipe teacher, walking in front of my dad and me, playing the bagpipes.  Not a dry eye to be seen, including me.  What was I doing?  Just before walking through the doors of the church, my dad turned to me and said "It is not to late to leave.  We can just get in the car and go home".   Maybe we had made the decision too quickly..... Oh well we were together for two children and just short of five years.  It was my fault we divorced. I am so sorry that I hurt him.   He is a good man and still a really good friend..... at least now we are friends. So life goes on.

This is about the time my life became a mess.  I was a good mom.  I took care of the boys the best way I knew.  I worked as much as was available.  In a bar, but the tips were good for a girl that was thin with a fairly good figure and long blonde hair and blue eyes. I moved a couple of times after the man I was renting from decided he did not want a single mother renting from him.  Chauvinist pig.


Then my chance came.  One of the girls I worked with came to me one night and told me of a job that was open.  A bartender at the new club in town..."B. D. T.".   I copped an attitude and went to see the man that had asked to see me.  I knew what I was going to say and what I wanted.  To my surprise he gave me everything I asked for.  Work started.  It was not long after that, I became the manager of the club.  Little did I know that it was run by some less than upstanding people.   Could not figure out why the checks I had written for work items would come back.  Come to find out that the money had been disappearing as fast as I was putting it in the bank.   I made good money, but was constantly questioned about everything.  The police even started watching everything I was doing.

I met and had a wonderful little boy with a shmuck that took him from me while I was a work one night at the club.  I came home to find my son gone and found that there was nothing I could do about it.  Lawyers, sheriffs, police called and I got all the same answers.  Shit out of luck lady.  So I went without seeing my baby for over 3 months before he felt it was safe.  My world was starting to spiral.

It was not until sometime after the club closed that I found out who I had been working for.  Oh well live and learn.  So life goes on. 

Then came a part of my life that I would like to forget.  I was offered a job in Calgary.  This was the chance of a lifetime for me.  I got on a bus after leaving the boys with their grandmother for a few weeks.  She had me sign a temporary custody order so she could properly take care of them while I was setting up my house and getting ready for them to come too.  I started the job as a manager of a nice restaurant, making great money.  I found a nice apartment to live in and even checked into the schools in the area, then the shit hit the fan.  I had come home for the weekend to pick up the kids to find that my mother in law had gone to court and got permanent custody of my children stating to the courts that I had deserted them.  My fault.  Dumb and trusting I have never been since that day. 

I spiraled into the pit of drugs and alcohol and debauchery.  Lost weight like crazy.  Pill to get up and one to go to bed, alcohol in the middle.  I lied about everything to everyone.  I was so ashamed of what I had become, but my kids still meant the world to me and I was with them every chance I got.
At this point in my life I figured the only way I would stay alive was to get away from everyone and everything that was leading to the spiral I was in.  Then came the decision to move.  So life goes on.

The following part of my life is when the spiral stopped and the ladder out of the darkness started.  I moved 1100 miles north with $50 dollars in my pocket to a small town called Fort Nelson in British Columbia, Canada(for those of you that don't know I'm a Canuck) ha ha ha.  I arrived there on the 26th of July 1984.  I got up early the next morning to start applying for jobs all over town.  I was lucky on my second stop.  The lounge at the Fort Hotel had just fired a person and I started that afternoon at 4pm.  WOW what a culture shock from where I had been working.  All the guys were in gum boots, jeans, work shirts and baseball caps.  Covered in mud and dirt from working in the oil field.  Most of them had been in camp for two to three weeks. Then I spotted the guy at the end of the bar.  He was sitting with his head resting on his fist, sucking back a Wiser's deluxe on ice.  He had dark brown hair, a huge mustache and the most gorgeous eyes.  His glasses were tinted a light purple color and it made his eyes even brighter.  He saw me standing at the bar and smiled.  OMG I am so in love.

Playing it cool I went about my business working and serving drinks.  His friend came in and sat beside him.  Later that night his friend asked if I would like to have dinner.  Of course.  Well thing went south and so did my date.  The guy at the end of the bar was there though.  I told our bartender Gabe to tell the mustache at the end of the bar that I was here for a good time not a long time, to see what would happen.   To my surprise, he smiled and asked if I wanted to go and see some new pups that had just been born.  My answer was Of Course, but what a line to use.  Surprise, surprise there really were new  puppies.  That was the start of what is now a 39 year love affair and a 37 year marriage.  Michael is my world.  He is my friend, my lover, my rock.  He has been there for me through thick and thin.  I miss his face when I'm not with him.  I am upset when he is hurting.  He is my world, my everything.  There was a lot of things that happened in the past 39 years, not all good, but we have managed not to kill each other and that is something.  We still love each other, and I thank my lucky stars for the day I met and fell in love with him.  So life goes on.

Many things have happened off and on in and among these short blips into my life.  Lots of bad things have happened, but the good things are the ones that stick out in my mind.  My family has been around for most of the good and bad. I have lost many people that I care very much for, leaving a huge hole in my heart, the latest being my Dad.  I am still reeling from that loss.  Someday we will meet again.  My only regret is that I do not live close to Mom.  We are 1800 miles apart.  We do talk everyday either by phone or text.  I hope she has a good trip to see everyone for Easter and her Birthday.  Happy Birthday Ma.  Have fun and enjoy being with everyone. I love you. 

Then the next big loss I had was my Mom.  I do love that I got to spend so much time with her before  she passed.  We took a couple of trips.  She came down to see me then I drove her back home.  She enjoyed seeing all this different sights, and I think it took her mind off not having dad with her.  Then just a few months before she passed, we took a trip to Vancouver for a medical issue.  During the time in Vancouver we got to see her best friend Iris.  They spent a few hours talking and taking pictures of them together.  Three of her sons, Barry, Glenn and Randy were there also as was Mary, Glenns lady at that time.  It was a wonderful afternoon and Mom was so pleased that Iris was very clear that day and remembered everyone, including me.  She knew who I was right away.  I was so pleased that they got to spend time together as it had been close to 5 years since they had seen each other.  This is a friendship that had lasted for well over 60 years.  

 Many good and bad things have happened over my 70 years.  There is so much I have learned.  I have loved and lost many.  There are a few things in my life I would change.  I would love to spend more time with my family.  Living so far away makes that kind of hard to do.  I go home as often as possible.  Covid kind of made that hard over the past few years.  As we age things get harder to do as often as we like.  We have now retired and are working harder that when we both had full time jobs.  The only difference is we do things when we want to.  So life goes on.

I hope you get to have some of the fun I did, but stay away from the bad stuff.  Learn from someone that has been there and done that.  Give all you can, love like there is no tomorrow and tell the ones you care about that you love them.  Nothing is forever and tomorrow is not promised, so enjoy today like there is no tomorrow.  I love all of you. 


So Life Goes On.

Bucket List

Well today is one for the books.  I have been trying to figure out what to do.  Do you ever sit and think of the things you wish you had done the so called "Bucket list".  Ever since my father passed away, I have thought many times of the things that I would like to do.  I have accomplished some of the things on my list, but have ever so many to still get to.  I wonder often how many people have the same wishes as I do.  I am going to post this on face book and see how many people actually do it as well.  It will give us a cool look into peoples lives.   So here goes.






DOLLY'S BUCKET LIST (not in order of importance except 1.)




1.  Have all my family in one place at the same time and live close by so I can see them all often.
2.  I want to see Australia, the Galapagos Islands and Scotland.
3.  I would love to drive a 1953 Thunderbird convertible with opera windows.  Preferably baby blue
     with white interior.
4.  Go on a cruise to Alaska, the Cayman Islands and or Cuba.
5.  Have people realize that they can't fix stupid and quit trying. 
6.  Live beside a lake again.  I loved Nelson and would love to settle there.
7.  Be there to celebrate my mom's 100th birthday--- it is still quite a ways off.
8.  Have enough money to help with the foster program called Saving Dogs 4 Paws at a Time.  Right
     now we just foster for them and I have two failed fosters already. The ones we have can never go
     to any other home as they can be aggressive with other people.  Guess they just got used to us and
     us to them.
9.  Live long enough to see my grandchildren get married and have lots of babies.
10 Spend whatever time I have left loving my best friend in the world.  He makes me smile when 
     sad. Hugs me when I hurt.  Loves me unconditionally, even when I am being mean.  I want also
     to say I'm sorry for all the things I may have done in our lifetime to hurt you.  I know sometimes I
     can be really hard to live with and tolerate.  I hope to spend a lot of time making up for that in the
     future.  I love you.








I have a heart that breaks easily.  I give to others, till there is nothing left for me.  My husband says I need to learn the word no,  hahahaha like that will ever happen. I love helping others, that is the reason I became a nurse in the first place.  I wish everyone could see the world through my eyes.  There is so much negativity and selfishness in the world.  Everyone is entitled to everything and no one thinks they need to be accountable.  Work ethics have gone out the window.  People just don't care anymore.  Oh to go back to a simpler time when things were easy and people were self sufficient.  NO more cell phones, tablets, computers, and all the games.  Go outside and play.  Put the phone down and talk. 

And now there are tears

As most of you know, I lost my father in 2014 just before Christmas.   Up till now I have been holding it together pretty well I think. 


My family has been doing their thing.  We each have good days and bad.  Charlene works her at her business every day.  Debbie is dealing with her business and trying to close the estate of her husband Gale's mom and dad that passed away this past year. She also writes beautiful poetry.  Shawn is working and taking care of his family and coaching his boys in their sports.  My mom is spending time with her quilting, the hockey team and friends. 


I have been quilting, sewing, taking care of my dogs, taking care of Michael my husband (he had major back surgery in November of 2015) and just all around yard work.  Lately I have been having a hard time getting interested in much of anything.  My interest in things I love to do just is not there.  Had not been sure why, but  last night I think it finally came to me.  We were sitting watching on demand and caught an episode of Bones where her father died, and guess what happened to this big strong girl... I lost it.  I cried and cried.  I guess the time was right and it was what I needed to do. 


Today I am better, a little teary eyed still but holding my own.  I keep thinking of that awful night.  I sat beside Dad and held his hand.  He looked so peaceful.  His breathing became so labored.  The nurse gave him some pain medication to help his breathing and he slipped away to heaven.
It was so simple.  So elegant.  So quiet.  So peaceful.


He is, was and always will be my hero.  Being beside him when he slipped away to watch over us and keep us safe, was a gift.  I have tried to think of his leaving as the reason I became a nurse.  I was there for him each and every day till the end.  I helped turn him, wash his face, comb his hair as did my family.  I did everything I have been trained to do, for one of the people who means the world to me.   I was there when he spoke last, I saw his last smile, I was there for his last breath. 


Now some people may think what I have written is a little morbid.  Not so.  I have had this bottled up inside me for a long time.  My father was a huge part of my world and that day my world came crashing down around me.  I tried to be strong for the rest of my family, and especially for my mom.  I know how hard this hit her.  They were together for over 61 years.  I cannot imagine what that would be like. 


So now it is my turn for tears.  Ones of sadness for his loss, ones of joy because he was my dad and ones of relief for knowing he is watching over me.  I love you Dad.  You made my life so special having you in it.  I will always miss you.  You will always be part of my life.  The life I have is because of what you taught me.  You are my hero.  And now there are tears. 

Life is not what we planned

How many of you have sat down and really thought about all the things you have planned over your lifetime?   Many of us have made lists of the things we are going to do.  How many of you have actually done any of them?  How many of you have actually sat down and made a list of all the people you are going to give money to, IF you win the lottery..... I have.
 


I know of some people my age that have retired and are travelling the globe, having fun at each and every place they have gone to.  My husband and I have made lists of the places we want to see before we are too old or too sick to go.
 


Our list is not very big.  I want to see Scotland.  My grandfather was born there and I figure there is at least a couple of family members that still live there and I would love to meet them.  Michael wants to see Europe, Germany in particular.  The Black forest would be wonderful.  The villages and old style architecture is so intriguing.  Would love to spend time going through the old castles.




There is only one problem with travelling to those places.  My family lives so far away and they do not live that close to each other.   If there is going to be a trip taken, it is usually back home to visit which usually leaves us more tired than when we left home due to all the driving. 


We also have a number of dogs to consider, that cannot be left alone for long periods of time.  To answer the question before someone asks, we could take the dogs with us, but that is a really long trip for them to be cramped up in a car.  Then there is the vet bill, just to get a paper telling the border people that my dogs are healthy. We could leave them at a doggy hotel, but the cost is astronomical for four dogs, so that idea is scrapped.
.


Oh well that is for another day.  These days I spend my time in my flower and vegetable gardens.  The yard is starting to look like someone actually lives there.  The garden in the front yard is full of beautiful lilies.  Every color combination that you could think of.  Every year they get bigger and more abundant.  This year I am trying something new.  I have planted Black Eyed Susan, Butterfly bush and a monkey face humming bird bush and my roses are gorgeous.




I have become a little more adventurous this year in my garden.  I have planted Eggplant, Zucchini, Swiss Chard and Red raspberry vinaigrette.  With all the rain and intermittent sun we have had, my garden is growing like crazy.  We should have some veggies in less than a month.  Can't wait for my snow peas to grow, they are my favorite veggies.




Now lets get back to the lottery winning.  What have you decided to buy for yourself, IF or when you do win the big one.  Here is the list I have decided upon....
1.  Pay off all bills we have.
2.  Pay off houses, car loans and credit cards.
3.  Find a house somewhere warm, so we can live in comfort in the winter.
4.  Depending on the amount of money won, this is where my family comes in.
     I will give money to Garry, Daryl and Chris.  What they do with the money is not my concern, but
     I do hope that they set up some kind of account for each of the grandchildren.  There will be an
     account set up for Mikey's kids since he will not be here to take care of them.  My mom, Debbie,
     Charlene and Shawn and Sarah will be given  an account each.  It is their money to do with what
     they want.
5.  I will set up an account that will care for my dogs until they are no longer with us, and the rest will
     be given to a shelter that cares for all dogs that are found lost and alone. 
6.  Make sure I have two accounts..... one to spend and another for taxes..... you never know hahaha.




Now I would love to hear how silly I am or how stupid all this is.  I think about this often, probably more than I should, but hell someone has to win it..... why not me!  It would be interesting to see how many people I know, are related to, or charities that need my help.  These people do not give you the time of day but they love you when you have money.  Maybe I will just run away and hide on some island until all the hub bub dies down.



Ok now the fantasy is over.  Back to work and the daily grind.  It was fun just thinking about the silly stuff for a while.  My dreams are ones that I think everyone thinks about, but never says anything about.  My family is very "special", if you get my meaning.  Everyone of you has a big place in my heart.  Piss me off and I will kick your sorry asses to the curb.  HAHAHAHAH


I will never be rich. I will never be pretty.  I will never be popular, but if you have become my friend over the years, you will always be my friend.  I don't lie, I don't cheat and I don't steal.  My heart is an open book for all to see.  If I have something to say, I say it to your face.  Gossip has always got under my skin.  The world is a funny place and if I can make it nice for just one more person, I will have fulfilled one of my dreams.  Well that's about all I have to say for now, so,  I love you all and thanks for letting me tell you my thoughts. 

281 days ago

My life has always been kind of an open book.  What I am about to talk about is about as close to my heart as it gets.

The phone call came on a day like any other.  The only difference was mom had called to tell me my dad was in the hospital.  He had gone skating and had tried to go around some people and had fallen, hitting his head on the ice.   As soon as she hung up I place a call to his doctor.  Jim returned my call in a very short time.  We talked at length about dad's injuries and his concerns.  At the end of the call I asked one question, " If it was your dad what would you do?"  He said come home..... I hung up and booked my flight and car.

I arrived at the hospital at about 4pm the following day.  Dad was in good spirits but looked very frail.  He kept telling us everything would be ok.  Our family all came together the following day.  The room was filled with well wishers for the next few days.  Dad laughed and smiled and rested often.  The doctor had been very open with us all along.  He visited twice and sometimes three times per day.  He had lost both of his parents and thought of mom and dad as surrogates I think. He was very fond of them both.  This day he had come after clinic.  Dad had not been awake at all this particular day.  I followed Jim to the hall and asked his opinion.  He said it was just a matter of time and gave me a much needed hug, there were tears in both our eyes.

Dad passed away that night 281 days ago.

The following days were a blurr.  People, service, visits from long lost friends.  We had our family to lean on and many friends.  The service was beautiful and the church celebration was standing room only.  There was a man that played a song that he had written that morning for dad, he said with dad's help.  The service ended with Amazing Grace played on the bagpipes for our mom.  Everyone spent time talking and saying hello to mom and telling her tales of things they remembered about dad.  Sad and happy all at the same time. Everyone was wonderful.

I learned something that fateful night.  I have always been the nurse who took care of the patient that was dying and their family.  I answered all the questions.  Made all the hated phone calls.  Tried to make the family comfortable and help everyone through the transition of death.  Now I was on the other side, this was foreign to me.  I was the one receiving the information.  I always knew how I thought I wanted any of my family cared for, until I met the most wonderful of nurses.  All the nurses were great, but there was one that went out of her way each time she came in.  I will call her K.  She was quick with any requests we made.  She made sure to ask often about dad's pain.  I cannot say enough about the care she gave.  I only hope that people I have been in that situation with think that I cared for their family member the way K cared for our dad and family.

People tend to be either very demanding at times like this, or don't ask for anything.  It is a time when every emotion there is comes out.   I am very vocal about what I think but about certain things I tend to internalize to a point where I explode.  I am still struggling with my dad's death.  We scattered his ashes recently.  That in one way closed a chapter but opened a new one.

Life goes on.  We see butterflies everywhere.  These signify a soul telling you they are still close.  We are trying to get back to normal, whatever that may be.  The tears are not as frequent as they were.  We are trying to help our mom thru learning to live on her own after being married to dad for over 60 years.  She visits each of us often.  We just went on a five day trip back to her home.  She has decided to start a quilting circle.  I think she will enjoy doing crafts again.  We love our mom to the moon and back.  Watch over us all Dad and keep a close eye on mom.  We will love you forever and always.  Life passes in the blink of an eye.  Cherish what you have now.  Live and love life like there is no tomorrow.

When did it all change

Life what a concept.  People move in and out of your life without a thought.  We worry about the kids we bring into this world from their first breath till God forbid their last or ours.  When did life change so much.

With the world wide web being so much a part of everyone's lives, the normal ways people use to communicate have gone the way of playing outside, going to a movie and just spending time with each other.

Always thought I was alone in these thoughts, but after talking to others I am by no means special in the way information is received or given.  I am a dinosaur when it comes to giving someone a greeting.  I think the most wonderful thing in the world is, walking to the mailbox and opening it to find an envelope with my name on it, and it not being a bill or junk mail.  I sent a card to a friend of mine the other day and got the most wonderful thank you. This person was having a bad week, and said that receiving this small token in the mail had boosted her mood and made her happy.  The lost art of letter and card writing is something that I think should be brought back.

What is really nice with computers is, you can make special cards and paper.  This personalizes the message.  I know it is so easy to send it via email, fb, Twitter, snapchat and the many other web based transports, but the good old snail mail is what most like. These cards are to be cherished.  They make you feel special.  Someone took the time to go and look for or design something especially for you.  After all they are usually set aside for special days like birthday, anniversary, birth, sympathy, valentines, Christmas......

I have sent cards for years and always get great comments from most that received them. I think it shows the personal touch.  I love watching and hearing the laughter when a card that is read, is really funny.  My whole reason for sending cards is to make someone smile, lift their spirits or let them know I care.  I still have some cards from when my babies were born.  It keeps those days fresh in my mind and heart.

So when you are sitting around board to tears and think of someone special, drop them a note or card and tell them.  Surprises are always enjoyed when it is a kind word or just the fact you were thinking of them.  I want the old days back before it all changed and became so sterile and impersonal.  Send me a card.  You will make my day.  When did it all change?