My life has always been kind of an open book. What I am about to talk about is about as close to my heart as it gets.
The phone call came on a day like any other. The only difference was mom had called to tell me my dad was in the hospital. He had gone skating and had tried to go around some people and had fallen, hitting his head on the ice. As soon as she hung up I place a call to his doctor. Jim returned my call in a very short time. We talked at length about dad's injuries and his concerns. At the end of the call I asked one question, " If it was your dad what would you do?" He said come home..... I hung up and booked my flight and car.
I arrived at the hospital at about 4pm the following day. Dad was in good spirits but looked very frail. He kept telling us everything would be ok. Our family all came together the following day. The room was filled with well wishers for the next few days. Dad laughed and smiled and rested often. The doctor had been very open with us all along. He visited twice and sometimes three times per day. He had lost both of his parents and thought of mom and dad as surrogates I think. He was very fond of them both. This day he had come after clinic. Dad had not been awake at all this particular day. I followed Jim to the hall and asked his opinion. He said it was just a matter of time and gave me a much needed hug, there were tears in both our eyes.
Dad passed away that night 281 days ago.
The following days were a blurr. People, service, visits from long lost friends. We had our family to lean on and many friends. The service was beautiful and the church celebration was standing room only. There was a man that played a song that he had written that morning for dad, he said with dad's help. The service ended with Amazing Grace played on the bagpipes for our mom. Everyone spent time talking and saying hello to mom and telling her tales of things they remembered about dad. Sad and happy all at the same time. Everyone was wonderful.
I learned something that fateful night. I have always been the nurse who took care of the patient that was dying and their family. I answered all the questions. Made all the hated phone calls. Tried to make the family comfortable and help everyone through the transition of death. Now I was on the other side, this was foreign to me. I was the one receiving the information. I always knew how I thought I wanted any of my family cared for, until I met the most wonderful of nurses. All the nurses were great, but there was one that went out of her way each time she came in. I will call her K. She was quick with any requests we made. She made sure to ask often about dad's pain. I cannot say enough about the care she gave. I only hope that people I have been in that situation with think that I cared for their family member the way K cared for our dad and family.
People tend to be either very demanding at times like this, or don't ask for anything. It is a time when every emotion there is comes out. I am very vocal about what I think but about certain things I tend to internalize to a point where I explode. I am still struggling with my dad's death. We scattered his ashes recently. That in one way closed a chapter but opened a new one.
Life goes on. We see butterflies everywhere. These signify a soul telling you they are still close. We are trying to get back to normal, whatever that may be. The tears are not as frequent as they were. We are trying to help our mom thru learning to live on her own after being married to dad for over 60 years. She visits each of us often. We just went on a five day trip back to her home. She has decided to start a quilting circle. I think she will enjoy doing crafts again. We love our mom to the moon and back. Watch over us all Dad and keep a close eye on mom. We will love you forever and always. Life passes in the blink of an eye. Cherish what you have now. Live and love life like there is no tomorrow.
