There are many things in life that take people by surprise... Love, Children, Breakups, Marriage,
Death and of course Divorce. How many of you have been through all of the above? Most are happy with Love, Children and Marriage and not so happy about Breakups and Death. Then there is Divorce. How come when it comes to divorce, over half of all people that go through this are happy?
Throughout my life, I have had the joy of children and marriage ( a couple of times). Then of course there were the divorces that go with repeated marriages. I have been through one amicable divorce and one that cost cost cost. Of course I was on the lucky end of that divorce as it was the one between a wonderful man and his ex wife....... he is now my husband of 27 years.
I was the lucky one. I am the lucky one. My husband is the one and only man that I have called my best friend. We don't always see eye to eye but, in the end we see the others side. He is a quiet, subdued, perfectionist and I am, as others put it, loud, flamboyant and a helper. It is funny to see the way people who are so different interact. I love being around people, and he is a homebody. I want to teach others, and he likes doing things himself. He has learned to accept help when offered, and I have learned to keep my mouth shut when not asked for information.
Now some people will say I am very structured, and expect people to follow the rules. At work I tend to be a little unbending. I expect the rules to be followed and tend to push people to do the same. I have been compared to an "old army nurse". I do not take that as an insult, but a compliment, even when it is not meant to be. Hahahahaha. I love my job and what I do. Taking care of people is something I have always done. I have been a nurse, waitress, barmaid, manager of a nightclub, administrator of a medical unit, mom and wife...... hardest being a mom, and all of which I loved.
My life has not always been one of happiness and joy. There were times throughout my life that come back to haunt me at times. I went through some really crappy times in my twenties. There was the loss of my youngest son, to his underhanded father. You never know what is going to happen when you go to work...... I went to work in the late afternoon and returned home for dinner to find my baby gone. Then the war began. I called every person I could think of to try and get my son back. I got lawyers, sheriffs, judges and police on the phone, only to find that all the rules had been followed. My sons father had moved into my house for exactly six months, the legal time needed to take a child without reprecussions of the law. So one child down and two to go.
Then there was a wonderful chance of a great job. Calgary was so far away. A new start. Why not? There was an underhanded ex mother in law in the background. Offers to keep the boys while I got my life together. Wow how wonderful. Off to Calgary I went, with little knowledge of what was happening at home. Return to find she had gone to court and got both of them with me as a mother who deserted her children. That is when the drinking and drugs started full force.
House.......gone......... Car.......... gone....... money........ gone......... life as i knew it......... gone.
What next? I drifted from friend to friend. Stayed with anyone that would let me have a bed. I used friends for a place to stay. Then they used me. I almost ended up in jail, due to a friend, who I trusted. I asked this friend to put my check in the bank, so she took it to the bank, cashed it and left the area. Checks bounced.... I had a warrent out for my arrest. Lucky me, I looked cute and innocent when I went before the judge. He saw how scared I was and let me off with a warning and a fine. Lucky me. That is when my life started to change.
I decided to leave the home I had always known and move 1000 miles north with a friend. I was lucky and found a job the day I arrived. That same night I met the man of my dreams. After telling him I was there for a good time not a long time, he laughed and asked "do you want to see some puppies"? What a line. It is used all the time. After work we went to a trailer and guess what...... there were puppies..... lots and lots of puppies....... what a nice surprise. I became this wonderful date's roommate. From there the rest is history.......... Love, marriage, and a life like no other. The man of my dreams..... the life I have always wanted........ the joy of life with my best friend. Funny how things happen. I love how lucky I am to have had the life I have. I hope that through the years, everyone can and will look back and see the things that have shaped their lives. Reflect, re-examine, and love how things have turned out. This is what happens when you start with "I've been thinking".
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Her will to survive
Have you ever wondered why things happen? Why they happen the way they do! Have you ever sat and just pondered the wonders in this world, the disappointments and the truely overwhelming things that you have seen or been part of?
There are so many things that are out of our control. We try so hard to make everything right all the time, but with little effect in that direction.
You are born. You grow up in the shadow of your parents and are given, what they think you need to succeed in the world. Then you are out on your own to do the things you think are what is expected of you. Your life goes on in a manner in which we think is the way it is suppose to. The plans of all around us tend to interfere with the ones we have. The world continues no matter the outcome around us. Everyone has their own agenda.
I have had the honor of knowing a very special lady, who has been through so much and has always kept a smile on her face. No matter what was thrown at her, she always had a hug and a smile for everyone. She was given a life full of disappointment and hardship. Her body began to fail her some time back. She was told there was a chance with lung transplant, but it would mean stopping the meds she needed to breath for her to be a candidate. Over the past few years this wonderful lady has worked her job, taken care of her family, and anyone else that needed something, and always with a smile on her face. She came to work no matter how she felt. I have seen her go from a vibrant woman to a lady that can barely get from one place to the next due to her breathing issues. But she perseveres in the face of adversity. She has over the past few months become more and more unable to do things without respiratory difficulty. She had quit working due to this issue. She is unable to breath without oxygen at all times. Now comes the bad news.
A few months back she got bad news..... now I am not sure how anything could have been worse. She was given the news that her husband was in need of cancer treatment. Is there anything else this family could endure. The treatments went on as needed. He is doing better, but not fully back to being able to work. People rallied around them and gave them all the help they could. Cleaning, cooking, travel and donations. Whatever these wonderful people could use. We all wrote letters to different shows to let them know of their plite. Her daughter wrote the most moving letter I believe anyone has ever written telling of the things that they have been through.
She told everyone thank you for all they did to make their Christmas one to remember. She has always been so grateful for everyone and everything that was done.
She is back in the hospital again, in ICU with her lungs just not able to function the way they should. We received a note from her husband saying that she has given up. She has fought a long and hard fight. Her poor body has endured so much for so long. She is one of the biggest fighters I have ever met. I know no matter what happens in the next days, her family and friends will be by her side. She is loved by all who have been lucky enough to meet her. We will all pray and hope for the best for her. To anyone that reads this, please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers....... They have all been through so much.....
Now the sad news arrived. Nikki passed last evening. Her family has been strong for so long. She fought hard to stay with the people she loved. We are all richer for having had her in our lives. She has given more than her poor body could bear. We love you Nikki. Be safe. Watch over us until we meet again. We love all you have been to us, coworker, friend, mother, wife and above all, just you. Rest my friend, let your poor body rest....... we will take it from here.
There are so many things that are out of our control. We try so hard to make everything right all the time, but with little effect in that direction.
You are born. You grow up in the shadow of your parents and are given, what they think you need to succeed in the world. Then you are out on your own to do the things you think are what is expected of you. Your life goes on in a manner in which we think is the way it is suppose to. The plans of all around us tend to interfere with the ones we have. The world continues no matter the outcome around us. Everyone has their own agenda.
I have had the honor of knowing a very special lady, who has been through so much and has always kept a smile on her face. No matter what was thrown at her, she always had a hug and a smile for everyone. She was given a life full of disappointment and hardship. Her body began to fail her some time back. She was told there was a chance with lung transplant, but it would mean stopping the meds she needed to breath for her to be a candidate. Over the past few years this wonderful lady has worked her job, taken care of her family, and anyone else that needed something, and always with a smile on her face. She came to work no matter how she felt. I have seen her go from a vibrant woman to a lady that can barely get from one place to the next due to her breathing issues. But she perseveres in the face of adversity. She has over the past few months become more and more unable to do things without respiratory difficulty. She had quit working due to this issue. She is unable to breath without oxygen at all times. Now comes the bad news.
A few months back she got bad news..... now I am not sure how anything could have been worse. She was given the news that her husband was in need of cancer treatment. Is there anything else this family could endure. The treatments went on as needed. He is doing better, but not fully back to being able to work. People rallied around them and gave them all the help they could. Cleaning, cooking, travel and donations. Whatever these wonderful people could use. We all wrote letters to different shows to let them know of their plite. Her daughter wrote the most moving letter I believe anyone has ever written telling of the things that they have been through.
She told everyone thank you for all they did to make their Christmas one to remember. She has always been so grateful for everyone and everything that was done.
She is back in the hospital again, in ICU with her lungs just not able to function the way they should. We received a note from her husband saying that she has given up. She has fought a long and hard fight. Her poor body has endured so much for so long. She is one of the biggest fighters I have ever met. I know no matter what happens in the next days, her family and friends will be by her side. She is loved by all who have been lucky enough to meet her. We will all pray and hope for the best for her. To anyone that reads this, please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers....... They have all been through so much.....
Now the sad news arrived. Nikki passed last evening. Her family has been strong for so long. She fought hard to stay with the people she loved. We are all richer for having had her in our lives. She has given more than her poor body could bear. We love you Nikki. Be safe. Watch over us until we meet again. We love all you have been to us, coworker, friend, mother, wife and above all, just you. Rest my friend, let your poor body rest....... we will take it from here.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Then there is none
How many of you have ever felt like your all alone? How many of you have ever felt all alone when you have tons of family? Have you ever felt like no one gives a dam? Have you ever felt like you give with nothing ever returned?
I am here to tell you about a person that began feeling like that very recently.
I have known this lady for a long time. She is the one that is always there to give a card or gift to anyone that has a birthday, wedding, baby, death or just because someone is having a bad day. She is the one that calls to make sure friends are ok. She is always concerned about others feelings and how they will take anything that is said. This lady goes out of her way to make sure everyone feels good and does not feel left out.
Now over the years she had noticed that the people that say thankyou, or send things to her began to decrease. That did not stop her from continuing to send and give to others. This year things got even worse.
This lady had spent time and lots of energy looking for special things for people that were special. She sent parcels to family and friends, hoping to make everyone happy and feel wanted and special in some way. She watched the mail daily for the cards that were normally expected for her birthday. She got a few, but not what she had expected. The family must have been busy. They have their own lives. Then came Christmas. She sent out cards to everyone she could think would like to hear from her. There were cards from a few friends, that were returned. She knew that people have busy lives, but she started to think about all the things she had done over the years. Now she started to think about all the times she had been sad and few every came and gave her a shoulder or said it would be ok.
She looked at the pile of gifts that were sitting in the corner of the living room. She had sent parcels and checks or money orders to all the people that were special in her life. There was no gifts for her. She had purchased a couple of things for herself. Things she had purchased so she would have something to open Christmas morning. She felt unloved and unwanted.
As the days passed and her sorrow built, she thought long about all she had done over the years. It was funny when you heard her talk about silly things like slippers, mitts and hats that made her smile. Pictures that had been put on her wall the minute she received them. The things that the grandkids had made, that she kept forever. She loved to show the box of things she had received over the years from the grandkids. Now the kids were grown and no longer made anything or even came to see her. She no longer gets those wonderful things that made her smile so much. There is one that still comes to see her and her heart skips everytime she hears from that grandchild. Everyone called Christmas day and told of all the wonderful things they had been given. When asked what she got, she just smiled and changed the subject. How do you tell everyone that a picture was all that came, without sounding like you are greedy and wanted more. She just wanted to be part of the fun. She did not want to be left out.
She sat and read of all the wonderful days that others had enjoyed. It made her cry. She did not know what to say or do. She sat quietly and watched TV. She was in the middle of making a blanket for a baby that was coming. A baby that was not hers or related to her. All of a sudden she realized, no matter how much she tried, she could not stop what she was doing. It was not in her nature.
She resigned herself to the fact that others have their own lives. No matter how much you want to be part of them, if you are not close you may not be remembered, or at least not how you would like to be. Though over the next year, things may change. Things may not be the way they were. She says that no matter what she won't change. She likes making others happy, even if it makes her sad.
Next time you are lucky enough to get a card, gift or a special call, remember to make them feel special. They just did it for you. Someday that person will be gone. You talk once in a while and everything is gone in the blink of an eye............"then there is none".
I am here to tell you about a person that began feeling like that very recently.
I have known this lady for a long time. She is the one that is always there to give a card or gift to anyone that has a birthday, wedding, baby, death or just because someone is having a bad day. She is the one that calls to make sure friends are ok. She is always concerned about others feelings and how they will take anything that is said. This lady goes out of her way to make sure everyone feels good and does not feel left out.
Now over the years she had noticed that the people that say thankyou, or send things to her began to decrease. That did not stop her from continuing to send and give to others. This year things got even worse.
This lady had spent time and lots of energy looking for special things for people that were special. She sent parcels to family and friends, hoping to make everyone happy and feel wanted and special in some way. She watched the mail daily for the cards that were normally expected for her birthday. She got a few, but not what she had expected. The family must have been busy. They have their own lives. Then came Christmas. She sent out cards to everyone she could think would like to hear from her. There were cards from a few friends, that were returned. She knew that people have busy lives, but she started to think about all the things she had done over the years. Now she started to think about all the times she had been sad and few every came and gave her a shoulder or said it would be ok.
She looked at the pile of gifts that were sitting in the corner of the living room. She had sent parcels and checks or money orders to all the people that were special in her life. There was no gifts for her. She had purchased a couple of things for herself. Things she had purchased so she would have something to open Christmas morning. She felt unloved and unwanted.
As the days passed and her sorrow built, she thought long about all she had done over the years. It was funny when you heard her talk about silly things like slippers, mitts and hats that made her smile. Pictures that had been put on her wall the minute she received them. The things that the grandkids had made, that she kept forever. She loved to show the box of things she had received over the years from the grandkids. Now the kids were grown and no longer made anything or even came to see her. She no longer gets those wonderful things that made her smile so much. There is one that still comes to see her and her heart skips everytime she hears from that grandchild. Everyone called Christmas day and told of all the wonderful things they had been given. When asked what she got, she just smiled and changed the subject. How do you tell everyone that a picture was all that came, without sounding like you are greedy and wanted more. She just wanted to be part of the fun. She did not want to be left out.
She sat and read of all the wonderful days that others had enjoyed. It made her cry. She did not know what to say or do. She sat quietly and watched TV. She was in the middle of making a blanket for a baby that was coming. A baby that was not hers or related to her. All of a sudden she realized, no matter how much she tried, she could not stop what she was doing. It was not in her nature.
She resigned herself to the fact that others have their own lives. No matter how much you want to be part of them, if you are not close you may not be remembered, or at least not how you would like to be. Though over the next year, things may change. Things may not be the way they were. She says that no matter what she won't change. She likes making others happy, even if it makes her sad.
Next time you are lucky enough to get a card, gift or a special call, remember to make them feel special. They just did it for you. Someday that person will be gone. You talk once in a while and everything is gone in the blink of an eye............"then there is none".
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