Mine is very simple, but has so many avenues that have been put in front of me. My story started a long time ago and has continued to unravel in its own time frame. So here we go....
Hello everyone, I am 17 and pregnant. We are going to get married.
OMG you would have thought I had killed someone by the comments that came from some people. Here is some of the verbal commentary that followed this announcement. It's all her fault..... are you crazy..... your both so young.... and my favorite, I always was hoping to be a grandpa.
Little did I know that my parents had held it together while in front of me since I was doing such a great job of falling apart. After my parents went to bed, the crying and sadness started, but never in front of me.
The wedding plans were on the table as of the next morning. We had just about two months to get this show on the road. My mother got to sewing all the dresses. Royal purple velvet gowns for the girls and my dress was white velvet. I felt so special. All things came together faster than I thought.
We had a beautiful wedding with my new husband's former bagpipe teacher, walking in front of my dad and me, playing the bagpipes. Not a dry eye to be seen, including me. What was I doing? Just before walking through the doors of the church, my dad turned to me and said "It is not to late to leave. We can just get in the car and go home". Maybe we had made the decision too quickly..... Oh well we were together for two children and just short of five years. It was my fault we divorced. I am so sorry that I hurt him. He is a good man and still a really good friend..... at least now we are friends. So life goes on.
This is about the time my life became a mess. I was a good mom. I took care of the boys the best way I knew. I worked as much as was available. In a bar, but the tips were good for a girl that was thin with a fairly good figure and long blonde hair and blue eyes. I moved a couple of times after the man I was renting from decided he did not want a single mother renting from him. Chauvinist pig.
Then my chance came. One of the girls I worked with came to me one night and told me of a job that was open. A bartender at the new club in town..."B. D. T.". I copped an attitude and went to see the man that had asked to see me. I knew what I was going to say and what I wanted. To my surprise he gave me everything I asked for. Work started. It was not long after that, I became the manager of the club. Little did I know that it was run by some less than upstanding people. Could not figure out why the checks I had written for work items would come back. Come to find out that the money had been disappearing as fast as I was putting it in the bank. I made good money, but was constantly questioned about everything. The police even started watching everything I was doing.
I met and had a wonderful little boy with a shmuck that took him from me while I was a work one night at the club. I came home to find my son gone and found that there was nothing I could do about it. Lawyers, sheriffs, police called and I got all the same answers. Shit out of luck lady. So I went without seeing my baby for over 3 months before he felt it was safe. My world was starting to spiral.
It was not until sometime after the club closed that I found out who I had been working for. Oh well live and learn. So life goes on.
Then came a part of my life that I would like to forget. I was offered a job in Calgary. This was the chance of a lifetime for me. I got on a bus after leaving the boys with their grandmother for a few weeks. She had me sign a temporary custody order so she could properly take care of them while I was setting up my house and getting ready for them to come too. I started the job as a manager of a nice restaurant, making great money. I found a nice apartment to live in and even checked into the schools in the area, then the shit hit the fan. I had come home for the weekend to pick up the kids to find that my mother in law had gone to court and got permanent custody of my children stating to the courts that I had deserted them. My fault. Dumb and trusting I have never been since that day.
I spiraled into the pit of drugs and alcohol and debauchery. Lost weight like crazy. Pill to get up and one to go to bed, alcohol in the middle. I lied about everything to everyone. I was so ashamed of what I had become, but my kids still meant the world to me and I was with them every chance I got.
At this point in my life I figured the only way I would stay alive was to get away from everyone and everything that was leading to the spiral I was in. Then came the decision to move. So life goes on.
The following part of my life is when the spiral stopped and the ladder out of the darkness started. I moved 1100 miles north with $50 dollars in my pocket to a small town called Fort Nelson in British Columbia, Canada(for those of you that don't know I'm a Canuck) ha ha ha. I arrived there on the 26th of July 1984. I got up early the next morning to start applying for jobs all over town. I was lucky on my second stop. The lounge at the Fort Hotel had just fired a person and I started that afternoon at 4pm. WOW what a culture shock from where I had been working. All the guys were in gum boots, jeans, work shirts and baseball caps. Covered in mud and dirt from working in the oil field. Most of them had been in camp for two to three weeks. Then I spotted the guy at the end of the bar. He was sitting with his head resting on his fist, sucking back a Wiser's deluxe on ice. He had dark brown hair, a huge mustache and the most gorgeous eyes. His glasses were tinted a light purple color and it made his eyes even brighter. He saw me standing at the bar and smiled. OMG I am so in love.
Playing it cool I went about my business working and serving drinks. His friend came in and sat beside him. Later that night his friend asked if I would like to have dinner. Of course. Well thing went south and so did my date. The guy at the end of the bar was there though. I told our bartender Gabe to tell the mustache at the end of the bar that I was here for a good time not a long time, to see what would happen. To my surprise, he smiled and asked if I wanted to go and see some new pups that had just been born. My answer was Of Course, but what a line to use. Surprise, surprise there really were new puppies. That was the start of what is now a 39 year love affair and a 37 year marriage. Michael is my world. He is my friend, my lover, my rock. He has been there for me through thick and thin. I miss his face when I'm not with him. I am upset when he is hurting. He is my world, my everything. There was a lot of things that happened in the past 39 years, not all good, but we have managed not to kill each other and that is something. We still love each other, and I thank my lucky stars for the day I met and fell in love with him. So life goes on.
Many things have happened off and on in and among these short blips into my life. Lots of bad things have happened, but the good things are the ones that stick out in my mind. My family has been around for most of the good and bad. I have lost many people that I care very much for, leaving a huge hole in my heart, the latest being my Dad. I am still reeling from that loss. Someday we will meet again. My only regret is that I do not live close to Mom. We are 1800 miles apart. We do talk everyday either by phone or text. I hope she has a good trip to see everyone for Easter and her Birthday. Happy Birthday Ma. Have fun and enjoy being with everyone. I love you.
Then the next big loss I had was my Mom. I do love that I got to spend so much time with her before she passed. We took a couple of trips. She came down to see me then I drove her back home. She enjoyed seeing all this different sights, and I think it took her mind off not having dad with her. Then just a few months before she passed, we took a trip to Vancouver for a medical issue. During the time in Vancouver we got to see her best friend Iris. They spent a few hours talking and taking pictures of them together. Three of her sons, Barry, Glenn and Randy were there also as was Mary, Glenns lady at that time. It was a wonderful afternoon and Mom was so pleased that Iris was very clear that day and remembered everyone, including me. She knew who I was right away. I was so pleased that they got to spend time together as it had been close to 5 years since they had seen each other. This is a friendship that had lasted for well over 60 years.
Many good and bad things have happened over my 70 years. There is so much I have learned. I have loved and lost many. There are a few things in my life I would change. I would love to spend more time with my family. Living so far away makes that kind of hard to do. I go home as often as possible. Covid kind of made that hard over the past few years. As we age things get harder to do as often as we like. We have now retired and are working harder that when we both had full time jobs. The only difference is we do things when we want to. So life goes on.
I hope you get to have some of the fun I did, but stay away from the bad stuff. Learn from someone that has been there and done that. Give all you can, love like there is no tomorrow and tell the ones you care about that you love them. Nothing is forever and tomorrow is not promised, so enjoy today like there is no tomorrow. I love all of you.
So Life Goes On.
