Bucket List

Well today is one for the books.  I have been trying to figure out what to do.  Do you ever sit and think of the things you wish you had done the so called "Bucket list".  Ever since my father passed away, I have thought many times of the things that I would like to do.  I have accomplished some of the things on my list, but have ever so many to still get to.  I wonder often how many people have the same wishes as I do.  I am going to post this on face book and see how many people actually do it as well.  It will give us a cool look into peoples lives.   So here goes.






DOLLY'S BUCKET LIST (not in order of importance except 1.)




1.  Have all my family in one place at the same time and live close by so I can see them all often.
2.  I want to see Australia, the Galapagos Islands and Scotland.
3.  I would love to drive a 1953 Thunderbird convertible with opera windows.  Preferably baby blue
     with white interior.
4.  Go on a cruise to Alaska, the Cayman Islands and or Cuba.
5.  Have people realize that they can't fix stupid and quit trying. 
6.  Live beside a lake again.  I loved Nelson and would love to settle there.
7.  Be there to celebrate my mom's 100th birthday--- it is still quite a ways off.
8.  Have enough money to help with the foster program called Saving Dogs 4 Paws at a Time.  Right
     now we just foster for them and I have two failed fosters already. The ones we have can never go
     to any other home as they can be aggressive with other people.  Guess they just got used to us and
     us to them.
9.  Live long enough to see my grandchildren get married and have lots of babies.
10 Spend whatever time I have left loving my best friend in the world.  He makes me smile when 
     sad. Hugs me when I hurt.  Loves me unconditionally, even when I am being mean.  I want also
     to say I'm sorry for all the things I may have done in our lifetime to hurt you.  I know sometimes I
     can be really hard to live with and tolerate.  I hope to spend a lot of time making up for that in the
     future.  I love you.








I have a heart that breaks easily.  I give to others, till there is nothing left for me.  My husband says I need to learn the word no,  hahahaha like that will ever happen. I love helping others, that is the reason I became a nurse in the first place.  I wish everyone could see the world through my eyes.  There is so much negativity and selfishness in the world.  Everyone is entitled to everything and no one thinks they need to be accountable.  Work ethics have gone out the window.  People just don't care anymore.  Oh to go back to a simpler time when things were easy and people were self sufficient.  NO more cell phones, tablets, computers, and all the games.  Go outside and play.  Put the phone down and talk. 

And now there are tears

As most of you know, I lost my father in 2014 just before Christmas.   Up till now I have been holding it together pretty well I think. 


My family has been doing their thing.  We each have good days and bad.  Charlene works her at her business every day.  Debbie is dealing with her business and trying to close the estate of her husband Gale's mom and dad that passed away this past year. She also writes beautiful poetry.  Shawn is working and taking care of his family and coaching his boys in their sports.  My mom is spending time with her quilting, the hockey team and friends. 


I have been quilting, sewing, taking care of my dogs, taking care of Michael my husband (he had major back surgery in November of 2015) and just all around yard work.  Lately I have been having a hard time getting interested in much of anything.  My interest in things I love to do just is not there.  Had not been sure why, but  last night I think it finally came to me.  We were sitting watching on demand and caught an episode of Bones where her father died, and guess what happened to this big strong girl... I lost it.  I cried and cried.  I guess the time was right and it was what I needed to do. 


Today I am better, a little teary eyed still but holding my own.  I keep thinking of that awful night.  I sat beside Dad and held his hand.  He looked so peaceful.  His breathing became so labored.  The nurse gave him some pain medication to help his breathing and he slipped away to heaven.
It was so simple.  So elegant.  So quiet.  So peaceful.


He is, was and always will be my hero.  Being beside him when he slipped away to watch over us and keep us safe, was a gift.  I have tried to think of his leaving as the reason I became a nurse.  I was there for him each and every day till the end.  I helped turn him, wash his face, comb his hair as did my family.  I did everything I have been trained to do, for one of the people who means the world to me.   I was there when he spoke last, I saw his last smile, I was there for his last breath. 


Now some people may think what I have written is a little morbid.  Not so.  I have had this bottled up inside me for a long time.  My father was a huge part of my world and that day my world came crashing down around me.  I tried to be strong for the rest of my family, and especially for my mom.  I know how hard this hit her.  They were together for over 61 years.  I cannot imagine what that would be like. 


So now it is my turn for tears.  Ones of sadness for his loss, ones of joy because he was my dad and ones of relief for knowing he is watching over me.  I love you Dad.  You made my life so special having you in it.  I will always miss you.  You will always be part of my life.  The life I have is because of what you taught me.  You are my hero.  And now there are tears.